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April 2017 Ficlet Challenge
Joe Dredd
(Warning! Boring person talking about himself again! I don't want to monopolise the thread but I love talking about the creative process. Feel free to skip this post!)


Ellen York wrote:
Joe D, did you save up your stories all month to make a big splash at the end?


As of last night I only had the idea for "Oeuf". I read the start of a James Bond novel a few days earlier and it amused me how, although not overly descriptive, it went into detail about what brands of clothes he was wearing and how he liked his breakfast cooked and so forth. I wanted to do something like that and was thinking about a "Del Grant as 007" kind of thing until I realised the egg theme would let me describe some cooking. The James Bond connection probably explains how I came up with the "The World is Not Enough/An Oeuf" title too.

I thought I'd dash of "Oeuf" last night but it took me until 2.30 this morning! I went to bed thinking I'd have a sleep in, it being Sunday and all, but woke up this morning with my brain dictating the last three (Date Night, Henhouse, and Copyright Violation) "out loud" in my head. I had to get up and type them up because I couldn't get back to sleep!

It never normally happens that way, and P.S. I got told off for staying up so late!

Just as side thought, Paul McCartney woke up one morning with "Yesterday" pretty much complete in his head from out of nowhere, so I'm not the only one. I'm definitely not comparing my tripe to anything Sir Paul has done, but (fittingly) the working title for "Yesterday" was... "Scrambled Eggs"!

I wish I had been able to write them all in advance. I'd certainly have avoided mentioning "Go to work on an egg" in the "Green Eggs and Ham/Kairopan" thing as it tips off the punchline to "Date Night". I was really pleased with "Purrvelan" (did we have that in the B7 pets thread?) and "Dogolli". I wasn't sure whether to use "Afghan" for Gan or Avon. I can still see things I'd like to rewrite.

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I enjoy writing but it's much nicer when it entertains other people too.

I also have to apologise for cheating as everyone else was constrained by the word prompts but I (unintentionally) gave myself more freedom over the subject matter.
 
Joe Dredd
I'm off to buy a ten gallon hat!

Annie :)


"Annie get your hat" doesn't have quite the same ring to it..!
 
Rainesz
Joe Dredd wrote:

The World is Not An Oeuf


Joe, I don't think I've been hungrier reading any story before in my life. High praise! The cartoon cameos, and then the Tarrant/Dayna sitcom, you were on a roll! Right after I read all this (laughed out loud at Travisina's, Anne's and your dueling Green Eggs and Misogynist... er, Ham pastiches) I finally made a mushroom omelette myself and sat down to watch Doctor Who. Wink Thanks for the laugh after a long day at work.
 
Travisina
JD, you're absolutely on fire this month! What a brilliant collection.

Don't worry about cheating - many of us cheat from time to time (what self-respecting rebel doesn't?) and these challenges are meant above all to be fun!
Twitter: @TravisinaB7
Tumblr: tumblr
There's no point being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes
 
trevor travis
Talking of cheating, I believe it must still be April 30th on a little island in the Pacific somewhere. Therefore it's time for...


A SHAGGY OG STORY

He awoke in pain, and realised he’d been shot. A shot that would have killed almost anyone. But he wasn’t almost anyone. He had a constitution designed to survive a nuclear war zone.

“No, me not dead”, Og chuckled under his breath. “Me reborn, if you like!”

He saw Justin’s dead body. The fool Justin. Who thought all along he was carrying out experiments on Og, when actually it was the other way around.

Only he and his fellow creatures were left alive on this hell-hole of a planet. He was much more intelligent than the rest – for starters, he had developed speech, although he had hid the fact from Justin. And in physics, he truly excelled. In fact, you might even say he was a genius. Noting the bunker door was wide open, he entered and set to work.

***

The ‘impossible’ spaceship was the most incredible contraption, being made out of test tubes and wood. And yet it flew in the vacuum of space.

He set the co-ordinates from where he calculated the crew of Scorpio must be based.

***

“You know what, Avon?”, said Vila, sipping from his glass of soma. “I sometimes think what might have happened had Og not tracked us down to Xenon Base.”

A handmaiden, decked out in the finest red fur, brought fresh drinks for both of them.

“I could have still won without his help. Probably.”

“I’m not so sure, old boy”, enthused Vila. “For example, it was due to Og’s ingenuity that we didn’t have to destroy Muller’s android. And what about the clever way he ended up with the Feldon crystals. And he got us that eighteen billion in gold just when all seemed lost.”

Avon smiled as he remembered the look on Servalan’s face as she realised she’s been completely outwitted by a hairy, horned creature. Shortly before Og impaled her using his horns. Dayna had been very pleased about that one.

Vila continued. “But the icing on the cake was obtaining the Tachyon Funnel. The way Og achieved escape velocity in the shuttle – well it still boggles my mind. He saved our lives with an out-of-date yoghurt and a wire coat-hanger.”

Lord President Avon looked out across the lake at Gardinos. Og and Soolin were surfing somewhere out there. He smiled again. He did that a lot these days.
Edited by trevor travis on 02 May 2017 19:30:38
 
Anniew
I'm so glad it's still April, TT. A lovely story just when I needed cheering up!! Fitting end for Servalan and I think Og and Soolin would make a great couple - after all she has a thing for Monsters and he's much nicer than Dorian. Thank you.
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean I won't.
 
BradPaula
Og in all his hairy glory. Thanks, TT. Wonderful story!
Zil: Oneness must resist the Host.
 
Rainesz
Og saves the day and changes the course of history! I wonder how Blake is doing in this alternate universe? Wink
 
Travisina
Excellent, TT - that brought a huge smile to my face after a long day at work Smile
Twitter: @TravisinaB7
Tumblr: tumblr
There's no point being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes
 
trevor travis
Rainesz wrote:

Og saves the day and changes the course of history! I wonder how Blake is doing in this alternate universe? Wink


* Missing scene to the above story *


"Are we sure the Tachyon Funnel is working, Avon?" enquired Vila.

"Yes, I've tested it out on the planet Gauda Prime."

"Never heard of it". Vila took another gulp of soma. "Why there?"

Avon smiled. He wanted to stay Lord President.
 
Travisina
trevor travis wrote:

Rainesz wrote:

Og saves the day and changes the course of history! I wonder how Blake is doing in this alternate universe? Wink


* Missing scene to the above story *


"Are we sure the Tachyon Funnel is working, Avon?" enquired Vila.

"Yes, I've tested it out on the planet Gauda Prime."

"Never heard of it". Vila took another gulp of soma. "Why there?"

Avon smiled. He wanted to stay Lord President.

Extra LOL Grin
Twitter: @TravisinaB7
Tumblr: tumblr
There's no point being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes
 
Rainesz
TT: Ha ha ha! Excellent!! Grin
 
Joe Dredd
trevor travis wrote:
* Missing scene to the above story *

"Are we sure the Tachyon Funnel is working, Avon?" enquired Vila.

"Yes, I've tested it out on the planet Gauda Prime."

"Never heard of it". Vila took another gulp of soma. "Why there?"

Avon smiled. He wanted to stay Lord President.


"Just don't mention it to Soolin," he added. He wanted to stay alive.


[Actually, she probably wouldn't care.]
 
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